Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.

Everyone just did what their parents did. So that immediately made me skeptical of the whole religion thing, even as a kid. So I never was really into religion as a concept.

As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'

Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?

You don't know Jay-Z's scedule. He's a renaissance man.