I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!

I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.

Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.

You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.

Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.

I think when people talk about improvising it turns into this silly thing like, "Oh there's like a hula hoop there and I'm like 'Oh what's going on here? Is this a really big ring?'"

I know when someone that's not you tries to tell your story, especially when you don't look like the person whose story you're trying to tell, you're going to screw it up. And the only way to get it right is to have them be as involved as possible.