I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. You'll never get a word of thanks from them.

I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. You'll never get a word of thanks from them.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.