I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. You'll never get a word of thanks from them.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.

He's very, very well-known. I'd say he's world-famous in Melbourne.