Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.