I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.