I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

When you realize the writers start writing to who you are, you're basically reading reviews of yourself. And then it becomes this cyclical nightmare where I feel like I need to play into it, then I find myself acting like the character in real life.

If I don't buy it, I can't sell it.

I'm a lot happier in people's living rooms weekly than I think I would be if I was really, really relying on a movie career to keep me fulfilled and excited.

There was a time where I chose my jobs based on what jobs were available to me, so I would choose 100 percent of them.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.