I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

When you walk out, the money walks in

Doing something costs something. Doing nothing costs something. And, quite often, doing nothing costs a lot more!

I'm a lot happier in people's living rooms weekly than I think I would be if I was really, really relying on a movie career to keep me fulfilled and excited.

You've got a problem. Part of what you own isn't yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?

I never thought I was gonna live in LA. I thought I was gonna live in New York forever.

Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.