I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

You are already broke and don't even know it.

Every man has problems that only life insurance can solve. In the young man’s case, the problem is to create cash; for the older man, to conserve it.

I don't like horror, which is ridiculous because I've been in three horror movies, but when I see those things, I see camera tricks and fake blood and actors screaming and I don't know understand why other actors don't see that.

Your value depends on what you make of yourself. Make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

Term insurance is temporary, but your problem is permanent.