Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

An oboe is an ill-wind that nobody blows good.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.