Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Do unto others, then run
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.