I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?

I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.