Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.