Do unto others, then run
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.