The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.