Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'