Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn't just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.

Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.