Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it