Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

I'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.

I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!