That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.