If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

Contentment is knowing you're right

I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"