How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.

That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!