How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

Contentment is knowing you're right

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it