Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!

I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.

Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'

What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.

Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'