At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.