I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.