It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.