It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.