My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn't just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.

How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!