The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.