Work hard, save and live within your means.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'