It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.

Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Thank God for Darwin, eh?