I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.