I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.

There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.

I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.