The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.