Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

The reason we'd stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom. Whoever was charged with making the announcement momentarily lost all sense of procedure and we got this tantalizing glimpse into the chaos on the trains, and all we could hear was (bangs on microphone) "Gary, it's burning, what we gonna do?!" And everyone on the carriage just cheered, "Hooray! We're rubbish!"

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.