I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.

I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

We’ve got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.

How long can you tread water?