Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.

There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.