A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

My latest blood test said my cholesterol was very high and my doctor recommended some medicine for it. I said "no" to his recommendation and he said "what are you going to do?" I said I ate my way into this and I'm going to eat my way out of it.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.