My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
My grandfather said, "When you become senile, you won't know it."
Every father says the same thing: “Where's your mother?”