Every father says the same thing: “Where's your mother?”

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday!

Every father says the same thing: “Where's your mother?”

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.

When I say, 'I don't care what white people think,' I mean that.