Grandparents are God's gifts to children.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

I think you need to make responsibility something that's not just a word.

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read."

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.