Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!

This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read."

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.