Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers.

There should be marches in every neighborhood every day telling the people about the negativity of drugs and how the drugs help us to behave negatively.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

People say "God will find a way." God can't find a way if you're in the way.

I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk... because I deserve to get drunk! And get out of my way!