All Children Have Brain Damage!

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.