All Children Have Brain Damage!

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.

People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.