The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos.

On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar... and deliver the following acceptance speech: I would like to thank my parents, first of all, for letting me live.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.