I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.

When we look at the settling of America we see a Bible in hand and God. Every Thanksgiving has God and the peacefulness of gratitude. It was important when the Twin Towers were hit and the sorrow with them that the first thing Congress did was sing "God Bless America."

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.