I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

Parenting needs to come to the forefront.

Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.