George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out.

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.