The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out.