I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't."

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.

When I say, 'I don't care what white people think,' I mean that.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?