A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'

Our children are trying to tell us something. And we are not listening.

A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.