A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.

The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being.

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend.

It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.