Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.