Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers.

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.