When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.

It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.