Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what you're saying carries through.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.