The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

...it was the arts, those noble expressions of the human spirit that are communicated through literature, dance, song, film, drama, painting and sculpture, among the many other such creative means, that helped articulate the sufferings of [these] people that were heard around the globe.

I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.